Life for me right now seems to consist of moving from one crisis to another constantly. It's very difficult, messy and upsetting. It means that I can't do what I want to do, be with who I want to be with, or be who I want to be at the moment. Between my health, family, bereavements and house issues, it's been a stressful time. It will get better, as life ebbs and flows and things change it will improve. I just need to weather this storm and hold on for now. That means using all of the self care and de-stressing techniques I can possibly think of.
As Pagans, and spiritual people, we have a plethora of extra techniques available to us because we are generally more open as a community to alternative methods of stress relief. Meditation is wholeheartedly embraced by us, as are complimentary therapies to stand alongside conventional medicine. This willingness to embrace different things also fosters an openness between us. In my experience, Pagans are much more likely to talk about their problems and work together to find solutions and offer support. Community is a big part of our religious beliefs, and we thrive when we find each other, be that in person or online.
As an act of self care, I recently got a large tattoo. The idea of tattoos as self care may seem weird to some, for me my tattoos form part of my Pagan practice, and add a lot to how I cope with and interact with the world. I have magical symbols, healing plants, and even a magical wand tattooed on me. It means that I carry my tools with me always. The most recent tattoo is a big-un. "Memento Mori" tattooed right across my stomach, Tupac style (if you recognise that reference, give yourself a gold star!). The Latin really speaks for itself; remember death/remember you must die. For me it's very grounding, it keeps my mind from running away with itself and becomes a much needed tether. It reminds me that we are all on an individual path, that is heading towards the same place, the next world.
One of the things that really helps me is my belief in predestiny. It's not for everyone, but it is a very common Pagan belief. It's the idea that everything that happens to us in our lives is predestined, preplanned. For me, I believe that I signed up for a life that would have set points in it. I would live in this city, I would marry that person, and I will leave this life at that point. The things inbetween the set points are my own choices, as is the timing between them. Within a framework of set points I have freewill. Over and over again I've found myself in situations where it seems implausible that it could have happened without a guiding hand controlling it. The good and the bad has made up the story of my life, and the predestiny leads we through the bad to reach the good.
Stress is part of the human condition, it's inevitable and truly horrible, but we don't have to suffer in silence. I was reminded recently that a problem shared is a problem halved. It really is true. Counselling can be extremely beneficial, the NHS cogs can move slowly, but it's there to help and they have a new emergency mental health service available to all. Accupunture, aromatherapy and reiki are very relaxing, meditation is invaluable to me, as is a visit to Sanctuary In The City in Newcastle Upon Tyne for a massage to release those stressy shoulder knots. My pockets are filled with crystals, my house smells of lavender all the time, and my alter is full of representations of my hopes and dreams.
The upcoming Autumn Equinox is a great time to concentrate on ourselves. To give ourselves some extra love and care. It's very easy to forget to look after ourselves in the midst of stress, so maybe light a candle and meditate. I will be setting some plans in place for winter and shedding some leaves in preparation for a self-care hibernation, and maybe a winter holiday. I'm taking Fall literally, and I'll be encouraging my stress to fall away, to rest for a while, to be recharged and ready to grow again in Spring.
An Autumn Equinox Meditation
Find yourself a quiet comfortable place where you won't be disturbed. Settle down, close your eyes.
Breath in and out slowly and smoothly.
In your mind, you find yourself sat on the edge of a small river. The water is moving past and away from you at a steady pace. The light is golden and warm.
On the water are large autumn leaves. Shades of red, orange, and yellow, in all different shapes, floating by.
Think about the things you want to let go from this spring and summer. The stresses and strains you want to move forward from.
As they form in your mind, place them on a leaf in the water, and watch them float away. Never to be seen again. Repeat as necessary.
Enjoy the calm, safe place for as long as you need to, or for as long as your carved out quiet time lasts.
When you are ready, bring yourself back by slowly opening your eyes. Move around and stretch slowly, don't stand up until you are ready. A glass of water is a nice way to ground yourself after a meditation.
By Louisa Chisholm-Kelly
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